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Monday, April 25, 2011

im going weak..and weak..but..sometimes i feels strong..

yes..i always though that i will be strong if whatever happen in my relationships..i though that i will no longer be like the previous time..during on my 20 besday..i think i will be more strong to face the reality when something happen in my relationship..but, i totally wrong..ohh..demmmmmmm..not damn k..!!! i actually weak..i weak to this feeling...i only know cry..and crying all the time..whenever i want to sleep, shower, prayer, study, walking and something during eating i will crying..crying and me cannot be separate..!

sometines i crying and crying like i lost my mum during i still a baby..i cry like something i wants during im still children but i can;t get it..!i should be ashamed of myself..i can;t feel like this anymore..i should awake...! i want my happy life back..!!! i dont want to lost my tears again..i want make my tears is so expensive to others...i supposed not to be like this anymore..should not..! but..its only me...niniey..! im weak..

only sometimes i feel im strong enough to feels this reality..reality that me and him is not together anymore..my dreams is worst during our relationship..our promises should throw it on the rubbish..! becoz we never get back..! the words is easy to say but to practices it..its so hard..! its look like me..i say i can be strong..but..see..? i just feel the weaknesses towards myself..i'd tried to make my self happy..i try to find my happiness..but, i can't feel it..the happiness is run away from me..same like him..all kind of things that i want in my life looks like run away from me..why..?? maybe "ALLAH" want to test me..?

yes,consider all kind that happen in your life is a part of a test from "DIA"..that is you had said to me rite..? so, it only me that had feel like this..???  and how about you..??? your feeling..? is easy to forget..?? what kind of methods that you used..??? im just missed you..! becoz my love is belonging to you..why you had being like this..? why we can't feel and share the same feeling like our previous time..? i just missed it and also missed you..

if you know my feeling rite know...if you can replace my place..its hards for me dear..just becoz you are my love..and i luv u..

2 comments:

Amalia Zurahim said...

hi niniey...be strong dear.....u deserve someone better...Allah knows what's the best for u...keep praying, sweety..u're still young..one day u will find someone who will love u more than u love him...dan itu adalah perkara yg sangaaaaat membahagiakan...peace!!!

CiK niNiEy said...

hye amalia..tengs dear..anyway..suke baca your entry..it will make me smile..:) yes..i know..but.i can't and its difficult to ignore dis feeling.. i'd tried..and always keep praying..insyaallah..i will get my life back..believes to my destiny..tengs amalia...anyway.kwn nini da dpt choc tu..cantik tgk depan2..:))